Friday, August 28, 2009

Divorce: Like a Tug of War!

Divorces can be like a tug of war. And I'll bet you have heard about some divorces getting down and dirty! In some cases, parties to a divorce have also been known to fight over relatively trivial issues, such as who will get custody of Spot, the family dog! (Of course, if we knew Spot, maybe we wouldn't believe it was so trivial!) But in other divorce cases, the issues are critically important and worth fighting for, such as battles to obtain child custody against an abusive spouse.

How do you decide which issues are worth fighting for? And how do you know when you should engage in the "tug of war" and when should you mediate or compromise? Honestly, it's impossible to say here. And frankly, I also believe it is important to emphasize that such decisions must ultimately be made by you, the client. No family member, divorce lawyer, or judge can make such important decisions for you. If possible, you should find some quiet time and carefully weigh what is important to you and where you must draw the lines. While you should also consult with an attorney about the pros and cons of fighting over each important issue, in the end, your divorce attorney will expect you to make the choices or decisions.

And every divorce is different. In other words, each case has its own unique set of facts. So, while your attorney may be able to give you good advice about what could happen in some situations, since your attorney does not have a crystal ball, he or she cannot predict or guarantee a result, if you decide to fight!

So, please carefully weigh and decide what is important to you, where you must draw the lines, and when you must engage in a tug of war!

1 comment:

  1. I've never been married... but if I ever do, I'm coming back here to re-read all of this and make sure I know the rules! I'm thinking you should fight for only those things that REALLY matter to you and not out of spite or just to make things harder for the other party. Unfortunately, when you do that you drag yourself along in the misery. And since I have absolutely no point of reference, that's just the idealist in me trying to stay positive! :)