Are Simple, No-Fault Divorces Good or Bad?

I just read another blogger's post in which that blogger, (who will not be identified here), expressed an opinion that no-fault divorces are a bad thing.  In other words, that blogger believes that it should be more difficult for people to get a divorce.  I assume that blogger probably also believes that divorce is morally wrong.  What do you think?

As for me, obviously, since I am an Augusta, Georgia divorce lawyer, I support  Georgia's law which makes it relatively easy to get a divorce in this state without having to prove a fault ground, such as adultery, addiction, or cruel treatment.  In Georgia, a person must simply allege that the marriage is "irretrievably broken."  In short, he or she will then be entitled to get a divorce without having to allege or prove any fault grounds. 

It is not that I necessarily view divorce as a "good thing." No one really believes that.  However, I would hate to see our state make it more difficult for a woman to get out of a violent, abusive marriage.  In other words, in my opinion, no one should be forced to stay in an abusive relationship just because they cannot prove adultery, or another fault ground.  

In addition, I believe that Georgia courts should not be unduly expensive for folks who cannot afford contested divorces, which can cost thousands of dollars, (in contrast to much cheaper simple, uncontested divorces).  For instance, as divorce attorneys at the Goolsby Law Firm, LLC, in Augusta, GA, we often handle simple, uncontested divorces, with children, for as low as $500, plus costs.  Even then, we often see folks who struggle to afford it.  Justice should not only be for the wealthy!  Laws allowing relatively easy, cheap no-fault divorces are therefore necessary, in my opinion.

What is your opinion? 

Is It Really "Your Thing?" Or Can You Really Cheat Or "Do What You Wanna Do" Before Your Divorce Is Final?

[Photo from users.rowan.edu]

Do you remember the classic 1960's song, "It's Your Thing," by the Isley Brothers?  If so, then you will recall that the song's lyrics essentially suggest that, because it's "your thing," then you can "do what you wanna do" and "sock it" to whomever you want and, presumably, whenever you want!

But is this song really true in all situations?  More particularly, is it really "your thing," during a divorce, and can you "sock it" to whomever you want, and whenever you want, even before your divorce is final?  In other words, is it okay to cheat, or commit adultery, even before the ink on your divorce decree is dry?

As divorce lawyers in Augusta, Georgia, in our opinion, our plain, simple answer to this important question is "NO!"  It is NOT okay!  In other words, generally speaking, (and from a legal standpoint), in a Georgia divorce, it is NOT okay to cheat, or date, or commit adultery, or run around, or do "your thing" until after your divorce is final!  There are too many potential ramifications and too many potential adverse consequences, of cheating, to discuss here.  Be sure to consult with your own divorce attorney.  But a couple of examples should suffice.  

For instance, proof of cheating, even long after the separation, might tend to support your spouse's claim that adultery also occurred before the separation.  In addition, if you are out partying and "running around" while the divorce is pending, it could potentially have an impact on the issue of which party would make the best custodial parent in a child custody battle.  Again, talk with your own divorce lawyer about this issue!

Look, as divorce attorneys, we realize that you are, in reality, going to "do what you wanna do."  But our job, as divorce lawyers, is not to slap you on the back and approve everything you "wanna do."  Our role is to provide information and sound advice, even if it is not what you want to hear.

Can you imagine my surprise when I recently read another divorce lawyer's blog in which that divorce attorney essentially suggested that it is okay to cheat during a divorce?!  Actually, the lawyer basically suggested that it is okay to cheat before your divorce is final, but just don't get caught! 

Well, you won't hear that same advice, or opinion, at the Goolsby Law Firm, LLC!  As you know, we are divorce lawyers in Augusta, Georgia -- in the heart of the Bible Belt.  Maybe things are handled differently in divorce cases in other places.  And maybe it is okay to do "your thing" in other jurisdictions. 

But in Georgia, if you are going through a divorce, again, you should discuss the potential impact of adultery on your divorce with your own divorce lawyer.  And, if you ask us, from a legal standpoint, while it may be "your thing," you shouldn't "do what you wanna do," until after the divorce is final. 

GPS Devices and Tracking a Spouse To Prove Adultery

[Photo from shop.geocaching.com]

Do you suspect that your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," is cheating on you?  But are you unsure how to prove his adultery, or infidelity?  Well, did you hear the news this week out of New Jersey?  According to various news reports, a New Jersey court held this week that a divorcing party who hired a private investigator who helped her prove her spouse's adultery, by placing a GPS tracking device in her alleged cheating spouse's car, did not violate the alleged cheater's privacy rights.

Of course, as Augusta, Georgia divorce attorneys, we strongly recommend that you consult with your own divorce lawyer concerning all your rights and options BEFORE you attempt to prove adultery in this manner!  Privacy and search and seizure laws vary from state to state.  Additionally, as we have also discussed before in this divorce blog, you could get into trouble if you try some questionable tactics.  For example, we have discussed before the trouble which people can get into for hacking into their spouse's emails.

The bottom line:  As television host Nick Cannon warns on America's Got Talent, "PLEASE DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!"  More specifically, do not try any method of proving Sluggo's infidelity without first consulting with your divorce lawyer about it!

Adultery, Cheating, or Running Around: How Can You Prove "It?"

Whether you call it adultery, philandery, or infidelity, or whether you consider it extra marital sex, cheating, or just plain "running around," "it," by whatever name, has been around since the beginning of time. Also, "it" has likewise been present in virtually every culture and in every part of the world, since the beginning of time. And "it" is not going away any time soon. According to Wikipedia, three recent studies indicate that 10-15% of women and 20-25% of men admit to cheating at some point during their marriages.

"It" is a hot topic on the internet, too. This blog gets more hits from folks looking for information about "how to prove adultery" than any other topic. Sometimes, as a divorce attorney in Augusta, Georgia, I wonder if the number of people in those studies who have admitted to "it" isn't a tad bit low! What do you think?

With that focus in mind, I thought it might be helpful, (to all those inquiring minds "out there" who want to learn more about how to prove adultery in Georgia), to recap about some of the ways to prove your worthless spouse "Sluggo" has been "up to no good!" Consider the following ideas on how to prove "it:"

HOW TO PROVE ADULTERY IN GEORGIA:

1. HIRE A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR: While it may get expensive, you can always hire a private investigator to get photographs of the two love birds together. While you may be able to get by with less proof, at least in a Georgia divorce, I don't know any divorce lawyer who would turn down such conclusive proof!

2. GET HIS EMAIL/INTERNET ACTIVITY/FACEBOOK POSTINGS: Of course, as we have discussed here before, (along with the fact that you should first consult with your own divorce lawyer), it is imperative that you must first have legitimate access to "Sluggo's" computer information and passwords BEFORE you attempt to get proof of his "fooling around" on the internet. But if you do, this information may, in some cases, be good enough to prove adultery.

3. GET "SLUGGO" TO ADMIT TO CHEATING: An admission by your spouse may, in some cases, also be sufficient to prove adultery.

4. CELL PHONE RECORDS, UNUSUAL PURCHASES, AND GIFTS: While this circumstantial evidence alone might be insufficient to prove adultery, when combined with other proof, it may constitute a sustainable case. Again, discuss each of these points with your own divorce lawyer.

5. "SLUGGO" HAS A STUPID GRIN ON HIS FACE: I am sorry, but proof of this anomaly alone is probably insufficient to prove adultery, in Georgia, or anywhere else!

In short, whether you call "it" adultery, cheating, or being "up to no good," I hope that this post helps all those "out there" who are looking for information on how to prove "it!"

Celebrity Divorces: Sandra Bullock and Jesse James (When Is "I'm Sorry" Not Enough?)

This post deals with a question raised by the ongoing divorce saga between actress Sandra Bullock and her alleged cheating husband, Jesse James. The question of the day is: When is "I'm sorry" not enough? In other words, if your own spouse, "Sluggo," committed adultery, would you take him back if he said, "I'm sorry?"

According to numerous news reports, James has not only apologized for his alleged infidelity, but also has indicated that he knew he would eventually get caught if he committed adultery. Also, as an apparent part of his cathartic confession, James has also been reported as essentially saying that threw away and "self-sabotaged" his own marriage.

Is this enough for Ms. Bullock to take him back? I have no idea. And frankly, I believe that it's a decision to be made by her, or between the two of them. But how would you react if you were the victim of adultery? How do people decide when it is appropriate to take back a cheating spouse, or when they should see a divorce lawyer?

What do you think?

Divorce and How To prove Adultery

In the last post, we discussed, (or at least I discussed and hopefully you listened!), how NOT to prove adultery. In other words, the last post dealt with problems to avoid, (such as illegally wiretapping "Sluggo's" telephone, or hacking into his computer), while trying to prove his infidelity. One of the primary points made was that you should always consult with a divorce lawyer in your area BEFORE you attempt to prove adultery.

But in this post, let's look at the issue another way: How can you prove adultery? Again, let me re-emphasize that you must talk with your divorce attorney BEFORE you "try this at home!" But here goes:

1. Get his cell phone records: If you cannot get them legitimately yourself, then your divorce lawyer should be able to subpoena them. If "Sluggo" has been talking with his new lover, "Brunhilda," then his cell phone records should give them away!

2. Get his emails: This may be difficult to accomplish, if you do not have legitimate access, but, if you do, then naturally it would be a great source of information!

3. Talk with "Sluggo's" friends or co-workers: Of course, if they are "Sluggo's" loyal friends, then they aren't likely to tell you much. But you never know until you ask.

4. Check his Facebook or other social internet networking sites: In this blog, we have warned you before about the risks that married people face by visiting popular social websites, such as Facebook or E-Harmony, before the ink is dry on their final divorce decree! But since "Sluggo" may not be so bright, then you might want to check and see if he is already "looking for love in all the wrong places!"

5. Hire a Private Investigator: Just as with each of these other ideas, you will need to carefully discuss this option with your divorce attorney. In my opinion, you and your lawyer should generally consider this option only if you have specific leads or information about "Sluggo" meeting with another lover. If you have no leads, then you may be wasting a couple of thousand dollars, or more, by paying an investigator to simply watch a house. But talk it over with your lawyer! If this idea works, then you may have just the proof you need that "Sluggo" has been "up to no good!"