Thursday, August 12, 2010

What are the Signs of Adultery? (Or Signs That "Sluggo" Has Been Up To No Good!)

How can you tell if your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," is slipping down that one-way path of iniquity, known as adultery?
You might find some answers in a new article in the latest edition of Redbook. There, Dr. Jane Greer, a noted couples therapist, has written an article on how to stop an affair before it starts. She also details some of the warning signs that your spouse may be headed toward the "cheating zone." For example, Dr. Greer indicates you may be facing trouble if you and your spouse are too busy for one another, or if you have put each other too low on your priority lists. Also, if you have thrown in the towel and don't really argue any more, it may be a sign you are facing the prospect of adultery, too.
Check out the Redbook article for other serious signs of infidelity. But that's enough serious talk about divorce and adultery today! As a divorce lawyer in Augusta, Georgia, I have also compiled my own, (more lighthearted), list of "signs of adultery," or "signs that 'Sluggo' is fixin' to be up to no good!" Consider the following:
1. You probably should get suspicious if "Sluggo" has suddenly started watching the t.v. series Jersey Shore and then runs off his mouth about tips on how to treat a lady!
2. You should also keep an eye on "Sluggo" if he suddenly starts taking a bath, brushing his God-forsaken, tobacco-stained teeth, or if he ever asks you to wash his overalls!
3. You might suspect something if "Sluggo" starts making his beloved bird dawg, "Hoss," ride back in the truck bed, instead of right next to him in the cab, so as to keep the seats clean.
4. Finally, you really should get suspicious if "Sluggo" is constantly humming the tune to Elvira and he keeps goin' to eat at the IHOP, where that hot new waitress, Elvira, now works!

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