More Practical Divorce Tips: Keeping a Journal or Timeline

As Augusta, Georgia divorce lawyers, we receive telephone calls and email inquiries every day from people having questions about divorce, child custody, adultery, and contempt actions.  Just as we do in this blog about divorce in Georgia, we generally try to provide such callers and "emailers" with practical tips and information for them to discuss with their own divorce attorneys.

Here is one practical, helpful tip for you which we haven't discussed in this blog in a while:

 

I. KEEP A JOURNAL OR TIMELINE:  In other words, we cannot stress enough the point that, if you are going through a divorce, or child custody battle, you should keep, (in a secure location), a journal, or record or timeline, of all your contacts or communications, about your case, especially conversations with your worthless spouse, "Sluggo."  This journal or timeline will not only help your divorce attorney prepare for court, but also it will help you refresh your own memory about all the daily contacts you have had leading up to court.  Frankly, most of us simply cannot remember all our daily conversations about our children, or about other issues in a divorce case.  Therefore, we generally recommend that you write it down!

Of course, we also recommend that you discuss this matter and all other issues in your divorce with your own divorce lawyer!

Southern Humorist Lewis Grizzard's Take on Divorce

The late, great Southern humorist, Lewis Grizzard, a "great American," was well known for his astute observations about yankees who come South and wear out their welcome here!  As Lewis would put it, if ya'll yankees don't like our grits, or the way we talk, then "Delta is ready when you are!"

Lewis was also an astute observer about the human condition, including many witty observations, (in many of his 25 best-selling books), about the subject of divorce.  You see, Lewis probably felt like he was an expert on the subject, because, as the above book title about alimony suggests, he had been there and done that!

Lewis also once said that he believed in women's liberation.  After all, as he concluded, over the years, he had "liberated" two women! 

Cayce Vice: Another Tragic Case of Domestic Violence

As divorce lawyers in Augusta, Georgia, we sometimes see, firsthand, in our divorce cases, the tragic results of family violence.  As a former career prosecutor, I prosecuted many cases involving domestic abuse.  Here, in Augusta, this past week, our community experienced a tragic loss of a 21 year old woman who was found dead in her apartment.  Police reportedly believe this young woman, Cayce Vice, is yet another tragic victim of domestic violence.  A prayer vigil was held by family and friends to remember her life.

We should likewise remember all the victims of family violence around the country.  According to Futures Without Violence, three women are murdered, on average, each day in this country by their husbands or boy friends.  Also, according to the Department of Justice, about 3.4 million people, mostly women, are the victims of stalking each year.

But that's enough about statistics.  Let us remember that these numbers are actually real people with families and friends -- like Cayce Vice -- who deserved to live and be left alone, but who are victims of these horrible crimes. 

Is Nagging Really the Number One Cause of Divorce?

According to an article in the Wall Street Journal this week, nagging is one of the primary causes of divorce.  Also, the article suggests that nagging is more common than adultery and that women are more responsible for nagging than men!  Check out the article for yourself at http://www.online.wsj.com/. 

Look, even though I am a man, I cannot defend "my kind" by simply agreeing with this article's conclusions!  First of all, as Augusta, Georgia divorce lawyers, we find that there are many other more prominent causes of divorce, including money issues, control issues, and lack of communication.  Also, we believe that men are just as prone as women to nag or complain about their spouses!

What do you think!?

How Much Do Georgia Divorces Cost, Or Is the Cheapest Divorce Lawyer the Best?

[Photo from usstudents.org]

Look, we all like bargains, don't we?  But when you are looking for a divorce lawyer to handle your divorce, is it always best to go with the cheapest divorce attorney you can find?

Naturally, since we are Augusta, Georgia divorce lawyers, you wouldn't expect us to recommend that you always simply go with the cheapest lawyer out there, would you?  But, as a matter of fact, the Goolsby Law Firm, LLC, offers some of the most affordable rates, particularly for uncontested divorces, in our entire community.  We recommend you consider the following additional tips when you are selecting the best divorce lawyer for your divorce:

1. RECOMMENDATIONS FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS:  Before you retain a divorce lawyer, we strongly recommend that you talk with trusted family members and friends about good, affordable divorce attorneys in your community.  For instance, while one divorce attorney might be cheap, if your best friend has had a bad experience with that attorney, then you might want to consider that important information and pick someone else!

2.  MEET WITH THE DIVORCE ATTORNEY BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO RETAIN THEM:  We also generally recommend that you meet with a prospective attorney -- whether they come highly recommended, or whether you found them in the telephone book, or online -- before you make a decision about retaining them.  In other words, make an appointment, sit down with them, and ask questions about them and about your divorce case.  While some law firms charge a fee for such a meeting, we, at the Goolsby Law Firm, LLC, generally offer free initial consultations.

In short, we recommend that you shouldn't simply look for the cheapest lawyer out there to handle your divorce and all your important legal issues, ranging from child custody, to property division, to alimony.  Instead, you should investigate!  Please talk with family and friends, and meet with the prospective divorce attorney, before you make this important decision.  While cost may be a factor, it should not be the only factor.

Celebrity Divorces and Separations: Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

[Photo of Kim Kardashian from wikipedia]

Wow!  I am sure you have heard the various news reports, by now, indicating that model and reality star Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from her pro basketball husband, Kris Humphries, after only 72 days of marriage.  According to reports, the divorce filing by Ms. Kardashian cites "irreconcilable differences."

Again, Ms. Kardashain has filed for divorce after only 72 days!  What is your opinion?  Isn't it possible, in some marriages, that some spouses realize, early on, that a mistake has occurred, and that it is best to end a marriage sooner, rather than later?  Are there other possible reasons?  Are there better solutions?  What do you think? 

Divorce Lawyers, Television, and Law Call

[Photo of t.v. set from vectordiary.com]

I had an interesting experience last evening.  I was invited to be the guest speaker to field questions on the local "Law Call" television show.  I'll bet you have a similar t.v. program where you live.  Folks call in and ask a lawyer about their law-related questions.

One of the interesting features about this t.v. experience was that I learned you have time for only a few questions.  And when technical problems with the telephone lines occur, I learned you must be flexible and keep going on!

One question I answered dealt with the difference between an uncontested and contested divorce.  Of course, each of you who follows this divorce blog already knows the difference!

I enjoyed this t.v. experience and appreciate my Augusta lawyer friend, Vic Hawk, for asking me to appear on the program!

Celebrity Separations and Divorces: Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

[Photo from Wikipedia]

I am sorry I have been away from the blogging world for the past week!  As an Augusta, Georgia divorce lawyer, (who also handles personal injury, criminal defense, and countless other legal matters), I have really been busy! I feel like I have been jumpin' and steppin' on alligators all week -- with both feet!  But it's nice to be back to blogging!

Have you heard the news reports about an alleged potential split between Hollywood actors Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore?  You will have to read elsewhere about all the sordid allegations -- including allegations of adultery.  In fairness, probably no one in the entertainment media really knows the truth about such allegations.  But smut --whether true or not -- sells rags, doesn't it?  However, in any event, such smutty allegations are not the point of this post, anyway. 

The point of this post is that, as the Moore-Kutcher marriage has clearly demonstrated, (at least, until now), marriages between older women and younger men can, and do, work.  As you may know, Ms. Moore is 48; Ashton Kutcher, the new star of Two and a Half Men, is only 33.  They have been married for 6 years.  So, no matter what happens between them now, don't you agree that this case shows that such marriages can work?  Put another way, does age really matter?  Do May-December romances really work?  What is your opinion?

Okay, now I must put back on my divorce attorney hat and commence steppin' on alligator heads again!

Is It Really "Your Thing?" Or Can You Really Cheat Or "Do What You Wanna Do" Before Your Divorce Is Final?

[Photo from users.rowan.edu]

Do you remember the classic 1960's song, "It's Your Thing," by the Isley Brothers?  If so, then you will recall that the song's lyrics essentially suggest that, because it's "your thing," then you can "do what you wanna do" and "sock it" to whomever you want and, presumably, whenever you want!

But is this song really true in all situations?  More particularly, is it really "your thing," during a divorce, and can you "sock it" to whomever you want, and whenever you want, even before your divorce is final?  In other words, is it okay to cheat, or commit adultery, even before the ink on your divorce decree is dry?

As divorce lawyers in Augusta, Georgia, in our opinion, our plain, simple answer to this important question is "NO!"  It is NOT okay!  In other words, generally speaking, (and from a legal standpoint), in a Georgia divorce, it is NOT okay to cheat, or date, or commit adultery, or run around, or do "your thing" until after your divorce is final!  There are too many potential ramifications and too many potential adverse consequences, of cheating, to discuss here.  Be sure to consult with your own divorce attorney.  But a couple of examples should suffice.  

For instance, proof of cheating, even long after the separation, might tend to support your spouse's claim that adultery also occurred before the separation.  In addition, if you are out partying and "running around" while the divorce is pending, it could potentially have an impact on the issue of which party would make the best custodial parent in a child custody battle.  Again, talk with your own divorce lawyer about this issue!

Look, as divorce attorneys, we realize that you are, in reality, going to "do what you wanna do."  But our job, as divorce lawyers, is not to slap you on the back and approve everything you "wanna do."  Our role is to provide information and sound advice, even if it is not what you want to hear.

Can you imagine my surprise when I recently read another divorce lawyer's blog in which that divorce attorney essentially suggested that it is okay to cheat during a divorce?!  Actually, the lawyer basically suggested that it is okay to cheat before your divorce is final, but just don't get caught! 

Well, you won't hear that same advice, or opinion, at the Goolsby Law Firm, LLC!  As you know, we are divorce lawyers in Augusta, Georgia -- in the heart of the Bible Belt.  Maybe things are handled differently in divorce cases in other places.  And maybe it is okay to do "your thing" in other jurisdictions. 

But in Georgia, if you are going through a divorce, again, you should discuss the potential impact of adultery on your divorce with your own divorce lawyer.  And, if you ask us, from a legal standpoint, while it may be "your thing," you shouldn't "do what you wanna do," until after the divorce is final. 

A Divorce Lawyer's Take on "Do It Yourself Divorce" Kits

[Photo from apartmenttherapy.com]

Everybody is into DIY (do-it-yourself) projects these days!  I love to refinish antique furniture!  But please let me explain why I believe DIY kits may not be the best way to go when you get a divorce in Georgia.

Okay, I realize that before I offer this critique of  DIY divorces and divorce kits, some of you may think it is just sour grapes offered by a greedy divorce attorney!  In other words, you may think I am just another divorce lawyer who doesn't appreciate the competition!  But please believe me that that is not the case!  I simply do not recommend that anyone should attempt to handle such an important, complicated legal matter without help from a professional.

For instance, in many divorce cases, both contested and uncontested divorces, there are generally a number of relatively complicated issues, such as child custody and child support.  For example, no kit is likely going to tell you all the proper factors in calculating child support under the Georgia child support guidelines.  Also, there are a number of requirements for a Georgia divorce which, in our experience, the so-called DIY divorce kits typically do not meet or satisfy.  For example, no kit is going to tell you that, in a Columbia County divorce, you will need to submit a properly filled out summons, even in an uncontested divorce.

Finally, there is one additional reason why I believe DIY kits are not the best way to get a divorce in Georgia.  This reason is that there are a number of divorce lawyers, including us, at the Goolsby Law Firm, LLC, who will handle simple, uncontested divorces for an affordable retainer that does not cost a lot more than many of the DIY kits!

So, have I convinced you that a do-it-yourself divorce is not the best way to go?  Save your creativity for your home repair projects! 

IRS Announces New Innocent (Or Injured) Spouse Relief Policy

[Photo from Wikipedia]

We are divorce lawyers, not tax lawyers, in Augusta, Georgia.  However, we wanted to pass along to you, (for you to discuss with your own attorney), some information issued by the I.R.S. this week concerning "innocent spouse relief."  This refers to the fairly common situation in which a divorcing spouse, even after they have gotten a divorce from their worthless spouse, "Sluggo," gets zapped by the I.R.S. for back taxes and penalties on income earned, but not reported, by Sluggo.  According to the policy, in some cases, the I.R.S. will not hold the innocent spouse responsible for Sluggo's problems, provided the innocent spouse did not know, nor could have known, about the tax understatement by their ex.

The problem, in the past, for some innocent spouses, has been that there was a two year time limit in which to seek relief based upon this equitable ground.  But now, thankfully, according to I.R.S. notice 2011-70, the two year time limit may be waived!  You can learn more about this policy change by going to http://www.irs.gov/ or by consulting with a tax professional. 

Again, we are just Augusta, GA divorce attorneys, not tax lawyers!