Celebrity Marriages and Divorces: Nora Ephron

[Photo of Nora Ephron from  wikipedia]

Have you heard the sad news?  A very talented American screenwriter, producer, and director, Nora Ephron, died yesterday from pneumonia, which was reportedly a complication from leukemia. Ms. Ephron often wrote about the trials and relationships between men and women.  She also experienced both marriage and divorce in her own lifetime, including a previous divorce from journalist Carl Bernstein.

But that's enough about divorce. Today, I mainly just wanted to acknowledge her incredible contributions to our culture.  While she is responsible for writing the scripts for, or producing, many classic movies, one of my favorites is the 1993 film, Sleepless in Seattle.

What are some of your favorite Nora Ephron films?

Dating and Divorce: When Can You Date?

As Augusta, Georgia divorce attorneys, we often receive inquiries, both to our Augusta law firm and to this divorce blog, in which folks are asking us questions about when or whether they can begin dating, while their divorce case is pending.  We consistently, authoritatively, and unquestionably always tell them: NO, you cannot, should not, and must not date while your divorce is pending!  In other words, as Georgia divorce lawyers, we generally recommend that you should wait until the ink on your divorce decree is dry BEFORE you start dating, or even playing the field.

While every divorce case is different, and while you should also discuss this matter with your own divorce lawyer, as Georgia divorce lawyers, we would also point out that, in many divorce cases, there could be serious negative consequences if you begin dating, or start going to dating sites, while your divorce is still pending.  Technically, you are still married, (until the final divorce decree is signed), so, technically, "fooling around" would be adultery.  And as we have discussed before, please recall that proof of adultery, in the State of Georgia, carries with it a number of deleterious consequences, including potential impact on divorce issues involving alimony and property divisions, and, in some cases, even child custody.

Again, we recommend that you consult with your own divorce attorney about whether it is okay to date!

So, that is why, if you ever contact the Goolsby Law Firm, in Augusta, Georgia, and ask us questions concerning when it is okay to date, you can expect us to tell you that you should wait until after your divorce is final!

Reverend Pat Robertson, Divorce, and Alzheimer's Disease: Is It Okay to Divorce a Sick or Dying Spouse?

[Photo from wikipedia]

Whether you love him or hate him, you must admit that the Reverend Pat Robertson has an uncanny affinity for making controversial statements which attract attention.  What do you think of Robertson's latest statement about divorcing a spouse with Alzheimer's disease? 

According to various reports, this past week, Rev. Robertson essentially told viewers of "The 700 Club" television program that it is okay to divorce your spouse, if he or she has Alzheimer's disease, because the condition is a "kind of death."  In fairness, he added that you should first make sure that your sick spouse is taken care of.  But what do you think of his controversial views about divorce from a dying spouse? 

Rumors of Celebrity Separations and Divorce: Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith

[Photo from wikipedia]

I am a big fan of actor Will Smith.  While I wasn't crazy about his television series, Fresh Prince of Belair, I have really enjoyed several of his fantastic movies, including Men in Black and I Am Legend.  So, I really hated to hear and read the reported Hollywood gossip about alleged problems in his 13 year marriage to fine actress Jada Pinkett Smith.  I also hate it that, whether or not any of the rumors are true, the Hollywood press probably won't leave the couple alone.

We have discussed in this divorce blog before about all the stressors placed by Hollywood and by acting careers on celebrity marriages.  Look, celebrity couples can have marital problems just like everyone else.  And it may be true that many celebrity marriages do end in separation and divorce.  But not all celebrity marriages end in separation or divorce.  And it is equally true that it is a shame that Hollywood couples generally find it much more difficult than most other couples to address any potential issues in private.

Here's hoping that this fine acting couple will find some peace and happiness!  What do you think?  Don't you agree that, generally, the media spotlight could exacerbate any potential marital problems?

Filing For Divorce First: Does It Really Matter?

[Photo from hope-church.tv]

In this blog about divorce in Georgia, we enjoy discussing issues which arise in celebrity divorces.  We also include posts about movies dealing with divorce and even a few divorce jokes of the day!  But we also enjoy including some practical divorce tips and information for you to discuss with your own divorce attorney.  Today, we address the question of whether or not it matters who files for divorce first.

So, you have finally decided to divorce your worthless spouse, "Sluggo!" Now, you wonder -- does it really matter who files for divorce first?  In other words, should you be concerned about racing Sluggo to the courthouse?

As an Augusta, Georgia divorce attorney, I can tell you that, generally, it does not matter who files for a divorce first.  In other words, even if Sluggo files a divorce complaint and gets your served first, you and your divorce lawyer will still be able to file an answer and counterclaim, and set forth all your facts and legal arguments.

That being said, as a divorce attorney, I have also seen some circumstances in which filing first may provide some advantage.  For instance, if you are concerned about your spouse moving away, then you should discuss with your divorce lawyer the importance of getting him or her served before they leave the area.

Also, in some cases, I have seen some psychological advantage in the idea of "going first" and getting Sluggo served first.  In other words, in some cases, if Sluggo is a control freak and believes that he can control how and when you get a divorce, then there might be some advantage in taking away the control and having a deputy put divorce documents in his hands!

So, in the final analysis, in most divorce cases, it may not matter who gets to the courthouse first.  However, in some divorce cases, there might be some advantage in filing first for a divorce and "making Sluggo's day!" Of course, every divorce is different and we recommend that you discuss all your rights and options with your own divorce attorney!   

Is It Really "Your Thing?" Or Can You Really Cheat Or "Do What You Wanna Do" Before Your Divorce Is Final?

[Photo from users.rowan.edu]

Do you remember the classic 1960's song, "It's Your Thing," by the Isley Brothers?  If so, then you will recall that the song's lyrics essentially suggest that, because it's "your thing," then you can "do what you wanna do" and "sock it" to whomever you want and, presumably, whenever you want!

But is this song really true in all situations?  More particularly, is it really "your thing," during a divorce, and can you "sock it" to whomever you want, and whenever you want, even before your divorce is final?  In other words, is it okay to cheat, or commit adultery, even before the ink on your divorce decree is dry?

As divorce lawyers in Augusta, Georgia, in our opinion, our plain, simple answer to this important question is "NO!"  It is NOT okay!  In other words, generally speaking, (and from a legal standpoint), in a Georgia divorce, it is NOT okay to cheat, or date, or commit adultery, or run around, or do "your thing" until after your divorce is final!  There are too many potential ramifications and too many potential adverse consequences, of cheating, to discuss here.  Be sure to consult with your own divorce attorney.  But a couple of examples should suffice.  

For instance, proof of cheating, even long after the separation, might tend to support your spouse's claim that adultery also occurred before the separation.  In addition, if you are out partying and "running around" while the divorce is pending, it could potentially have an impact on the issue of which party would make the best custodial parent in a child custody battle.  Again, talk with your own divorce lawyer about this issue!

Look, as divorce attorneys, we realize that you are, in reality, going to "do what you wanna do."  But our job, as divorce lawyers, is not to slap you on the back and approve everything you "wanna do."  Our role is to provide information and sound advice, even if it is not what you want to hear.

Can you imagine my surprise when I recently read another divorce lawyer's blog in which that divorce attorney essentially suggested that it is okay to cheat during a divorce?!  Actually, the lawyer basically suggested that it is okay to cheat before your divorce is final, but just don't get caught! 

Well, you won't hear that same advice, or opinion, at the Goolsby Law Firm, LLC!  As you know, we are divorce lawyers in Augusta, Georgia -- in the heart of the Bible Belt.  Maybe things are handled differently in divorce cases in other places.  And maybe it is okay to do "your thing" in other jurisdictions. 

But in Georgia, if you are going through a divorce, again, you should discuss the potential impact of adultery on your divorce with your own divorce lawyer.  And, if you ask us, from a legal standpoint, while it may be "your thing," you shouldn't "do what you wanna do," until after the divorce is final. 

Shocking Celebrity Separations and Divorces: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony

[Photo from Wikipedia]

This past week, according to news reports, singer, actress, and American Idol Judge, Jennifer Lopez, and her husband, singer Marc Anthony, have reportedly separated.  Lopez and Anthony, who have been married for seven years, have two children.

Did you know about the amazing charitable work done by Ms. Lopez?  For instance, she is noted for her fine work on behalf of the Children's Hospital Los Angeles.

Hollywood has apparently taken its toll again on another celebrity marriage.  Here's hoping that Ms. Lopez and Mr. Anthony will find happiness again.

Celebrity Divorces and Separations: Schwarzenegger and Shriver

[Photo from Wikipedia]

Yesterday, according to various news reports, a representative for former Governor Arnold Scwarzenegger announced that the actor and former governor will delay his film career comeback.  Apparently, he is simply temporarily putting his acting career on hold while he deals with troubles associated with his separation from Maria Shriver, his wife of 25 years.  At the same time, various news reports further indicate that Ms. Shriver has reportedly hired a California divorce attorney.

Who knows what might happen next in that ongoing salacious celebrity saga.  But let's lay aside the specific facts of that situation and talk a little bit about similar issues confronted by other "regular folks" going through a divorce or separation.

Mr. Schwarzenegger's delay of his movie career illustrates a problem common to many separating or divorcing couples.  Don't you agree that it would be tough -- both emotionally and time-wise -- for anyone to attempt to deal with a separation or divorce, while also attempting to juggle job pressures and deadlines?  Just imagine how tough it would be for you to have to go to work every day, while also dealing with child custody and visitation issues, along with financial pressures common to most divorces?  But the point is that, generally, most "regular folks" have no choice.  They must deal with both -- the pressures of their split-up and their job pressures.  Most folks cannot put their day jobs on hold. 

So, arguably, while no separation or divorce is easy, at least the former governor can afford to take some time off while he confronts his personal life's challenges.  That is good for him.  But that is a luxury that many divorcing couples simply cannot afford.  What do you think?

Celebrity Divorces: Elizabeth Hurley

Have you heard the news about talented actress Elizabeth Hurley?  According to various news reports, Ms. Hurley has filed for a divorce this week in London from her husband, Arun Nayer.  The couple had married in 2007.  Of course, everyone also remembers Ms. Hurley as the former girl friend of actor Hugh Grant.

Over the years, Elizabeth Hurley has portrayed a number of movie villains, including her portrayal of Delilah, (in Samson and Delilah), and the Devil, (in Bedazzled).  Ms. Hurley has also reportedly been cast as the villain in the upcoming Wonder Woman t.v. series. 

However, in real life, Elizabeth Hurley is no villain!  No one can surpass her heroic work, as a volunteer for various children's charities, and in her noble fight against breast cancer, (as shown in the above recent photograph, taken at a charitable event for the Breast Cancer Research Foundation, (see Wikipedia).

As we have seen before, divorce knows no boundaries.  Divorce can strike both the celebrity and the average citizen -- the hero and the villain.  In the case of Ms. Hurley, a real hero, in my book, hopefully, she will overcome her current problems and find happiness.

How To Find A Divorce Lawyer: By "Eyeballing" Them

In the last post, we talked a little bit about the importance of finding a good divorce attorney to represent you in your divorce.  Of course, we are Augusta, Georgia divorce lawyers, so we talk with potential divorce clients every day.  Here are a few important things for you to consider when looking for a good divorce lawyer.
1.  How To Find A Divorce Lawyer, In Augusta, Georgia, Or Elsewhere: 

One divorce client paid me a tremendous compliment recently!  She told me about her efforts to find a good, experienced divorce attorney, here in Augusta, Georgia.  For instance, she had talked with family members and friends and had gotten their input about various Augusta lawyers.  She had also checked out a number of Augusta divorce lawyers' websites.  But then, she did more.  She called us, made an appointment for a free consultation, and met with us.  She then later told me that the primary reason why she had selected The Goolsby Law Firm, LLC to represent her in her divorce was because she had met us and liked us.  In other words, after meeting my son and me, and after discussing some of the issues in her divorce case with us, she felt comfortable that we would be good advocates and a good fit for her!

The bottom line is that, as this case hopefully illustrates, when you are trying to find an attorney, for a divorce or for any other kind of legal matter, it is critical that you actually meet with the prospective lawyer, size them up, and then decide whether or not that attorney is the right attorney for you and your case!  Searching the internet for lawyers, checking their telephone book ads, and obtaining family input may be good for starters, but actually meeting with and "eyeballing" a lawyer is the best way to find the best lawyer for you!

Divorce Checklist: Planning For A Divorce

As you know, we are Augusta, Georgia divorce attorneys.  This is a continuing series on the topic of how do you plan for a divorce.  In other words, what are some of the practical things you should consider when planning for a divorce?  In earlier posts in this series, we have suggested that you should gather your financial records, e.g. pertaining to income and retirement accounts.  We have also suggested that you should plan a budget and decide what you want to do with your marital home.  Of course, you should discuss each of these issues with your own divorce lawyer. 

Today, I want to talk a little bit about another idea for you to consider when planning for a divorce:

4.  MAKE A LIST OF PERSONAL PROPERTY YOU WANT TO KEEP:

In many uncontested divorces, the parties can and will agree on how to divide all personal property.  In such cases, neither party may be required to prepare a list of personal property which he or she wants to keep.  But if you want the security of knowing that you, and not your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," will be able to keep your granny's old sewing machine, then you might consider preparing a list of property you get, and then ask your divorce attorney to make the list a part of your settlement agreement.  This may help reduce, or eliminate, mistake or confusion later, about who gets what personal property, if Sluggo decides to break bad on you!

Of course, you probably do not need to put on any checklist that Sluggo gets to keep your mother-in-law!  Some things just go without saying, even in divorce law!

Divorce and Television Programs: "Happily Divorced"

For better or for worse, divorce is a part of our social fabric and culture, including the t.v. programs we watch.  Did you hear about the new t.v. sitcom, Happily Divorced, starring actress Fran Drescher, (The Nanny), which is slated to premiere later this year?  In the new sitcom, Drescher plays a character who is returning to single life after discovering her husband is gay.  According to various news reports, the premise of the sitcom is based upon Ms. Drescher's own life.  As an Augusta, Georgia divorce attorney, and as a fan of Drescher, I look forward to giving this new t.v. show a shot!  How about you?

Divorce Checklist: Planning For A Divorce

A couple of posts ago, I began this "series" called a "Divorce Checklist: Planning For A Divorce."  We gave you a couple of tips to consider when planning for a divorce.  Here is another practical tip concerning how to dispose of the marital home for you to discuss with your divorce attorney, as you plan for your divorce from your worthless spouse, "Sluggo!"

3. PLAN HOW TO DEAL WITH OR DISPOSE OF THE MARITAL HOME:

Let's assume that you and your spouse own a home together.  In other words, both you and your spouse are "on the hook" to the bank for the mortgage.  The common issue is:  How do you dispose of a marital home when faced with the prospect of a divorce.  There are several ideas for you to discuss with your own divorce lawyer.  For example, if you want to keep the marital home, you should evaluate whether or not you can afford the payments and upkeep, (even when factoring in alimony and/or child support you should receive).  Also, even if you want to keep the house, and kick Sluggo out, you will also need to consider whether or not you are able to refinance the home mortgage into your own name.  In other words, as we have discussed before, the bank doesn't care whether you and Sluggo stay married or get a divorce.  All they care about is that they presently have BOTH of you on the hook for the mortgage.  And they aren't likely to let one of you simply walk away! Therefore, in order to truly get rid of Sluggo, but keep the house, you will need to consider refinancing the house into your own name.  If you can't qualify for a refinance, then you might consider asking a qualifying parent to co-sign with you.  In the alternative, if neither you nor Sluggo want or can't afford the house, then you should discuss the idea with your divorce attorney of selling the house and how to equitably divide the sale proceeds.

Every divorce is different.  Every divorce presents special challenges.  Some of these marital home scenarios might not apply in your divorce case.  Therefore, it is important to emphasize that you should always discuss all the issues concerning how to dispose of the marital home with your own divorce attorney.  Of course, how to properly deal with good ole' "Sluggo" is another important topic of discussion, too!

Military Divorce and Divorce Statistics

According to various news reports, a new study about divorce and the military indicates that soldiers and sailors, (and their spouses), are two to three times more likely to get a divorce than U.S. civilians.  Why do you think this might be true?  In other words, what, in your opinion, are the most common causes of military divorces?  Do you believe it is because of stress, separation, low pay, or other factors?

As Augusta, Georgia divorce attorneys, we are located near Fort Gordon, Georgia.  As a result, we handle a large number of cases involving military divorce.  No matter what the causes of a military divorce might be, as divorce lawyers, we enjoy helping our troops (and their spouses) through this difficult stage of life.

Divorce Checklist: Planning For A Divorce

As divorce attorneys in Augusta, Georgia, every day, we talk with people who are thinking about, or in the process of, going through a divorce.  Of course, you don't have to be a divorce lawyer to realize that it might be helpful, if you are contemplating a divorce, for you to take steps to be prepared for it.  Here are a couple of practical tips for you to consider and for you to discuss with your own divorce attorney:

1.  GATHER FINANCIAL RECORDS:

If you are seriously considering a divorce, then you need to begin gathering all your financial records.  For instance, go ahead and try to put your hands on copies of your house deed, car titles, job earnings statements, (for both you and your spouse), credit card and loan documents, and copies of retirement account statements.  These documents will help you and your divorce lawyer to size up your financial situation, as you plan for your divorce.

2.  PLAN A BUDGET:

If you are thinking about getting a divorce, you also should sit down and plan a budget composed of what your expected monthly living expenses will be following the divorce.  Although some items, such as rent, groceries, or utilities, will be difficult to project, (especially if you are uncertain about where you will live), preparing a budget will at least help you to begin the process of estimating how much you will need to get by on.  Then, you will be in a better position to know how much money you will need to seek when you begin to discuss alimony, property division, and child support issues with your divorce attorney.

Going through divorce is almost never easy.  But I hope these practical divorce tips will help you focus on how to prepare, as you prepare for your own divorce!

Divorce, Child Custody and Parent Selection

After several "entertaining" posts, maybe it is time for me to put on my Augusta, Georgia divorce attorney hat and give you some more "meat and potatoes," or practical tips, for you to discuss with your own divorce lawyer!  Today, let's talk a little bit about parent selection in a Georgia child custody case.

Did you know that, in Georgia, generally, a child who has reached 14 years old may sign a parent selection form and essentially choose with whom he or she wants to live?  Of course, the judge might still potentially ignore the kid's custody selection.  Moreover, the judge will still ultimately decide what is in the child's best interests.  But it is important that you know that, at least in the State of Georgia, parent selection is still possible. 

So, if you are going through a divorce from your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," and your son, "Sluggo, Jr." tells you he wants to stay with you, then you now know to make a beeline down to your divorce attorney and ask him or her about parent selection!  What are the rules about parent selection in your state? 

Favorite Movies About Divorce: Sweet Home Alabama

Okay, okay, I haven't forgotten that this is supposed to be a divorce blog by an Augusta, Georgia divorce attorney containing practical tips and information about divorce for you to discuss with your own divorce lawyer!  But because it's a Monday, I thought it might be more fun to talk today some more about our favorite movies dealing with the topic of divorce!

Today, I would like to nominate the Reese Witherspoon movie Sweet Home Alabama as one of my "Best Pictures" about divorce.  In this 2002 comedy, Ms. Witherspoon's character, Melanie Smoot, returns home to Alabama, from her new life as a New York City socialite, in order to finalize her divorce from the home town boy, played by Josh Lucas.  The movie also features some other fine performances by actors Candice Bergen, Jean Smart, and Mary Kay Place.  

Have you seen this movie about divorce?  What is your opinion about it?  What are some of your other favorite movies about divorce? 

Happy Valentine's Day!

Be kind and see your Valentine today...or see me, an Augusta, Georgia divorce attorney, tomorrow!

Happy Valentine's Day from The Goolsby Law Firm, LLC!

Adultery and Divorce: Will You Go to Jail AND to Hell?

Have you ever seen a sign like this one?  The sign pictured above, about the eternal, everlasting consequences of adultery, reportedly appears outside a Texas church.  But laying aside the question of what God will do to you, if you commit adultry, have you ever wondered whether or not adultery constitutes a criminal law violation, too?  In other words, could your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," go to jail, (as well as to Hell), if he cheats, too?

The answer depends, in part, on which state you live in.  In other words, not every state still criminalizes adultery, infidelity, or cheating.  So, you would need to consult with a divorce attorney, (or a criminal defense lawyer), in your state to get a definitive answer to this question.

1. GEORGIA CRIMINAL LAW AND ADULTERY:

But I can tell you a little bit about Georgia law.  (As you know, I am a divorce lawyer in Augusta, Georgia.  I also was a state and federal prosecutor before I went into private practice and became a divorce lawyer with my oldest son).  As to cheating and "running around" in the State of Georgia, I can tell you that, based upon my experience as a former prosecutor, while adultery is technically still "on the books" as a crime in this state, it is rarely enforced by prosecutors.

2. GEORGIA DIVORCE LAW AND ADULTERY: 

Of course, even if you don't go to jail, you should also know that adultery is nonetheless a fault ground which may have a devastating impact on your divorce, including its potential impact on issues involving child custody, alimony, and property division.  So, please don't read this post and think, for even a minute, that adultery won't cause you, or Sluggo, any problems!  

After all, it might also be your misfortune that your local D.A. may decide to dust off the criminal law books and make you an example by prosecuting you for committing adultery!  As always, please consult with your own divorce attorney about your situation and about the impact of adultery in your case. 

Here's also hoping that Sluggo will straighten up before God or the D.A. get him, too!

Celebrity Divorces: Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise

According to news reports, talented actress Nicole Kidman has opened up a little bit about how her 2001 divorce from actor Tom Cruise was very difficult for her.  But one of the things I liked best about her interview is that she did NOT bash, or  "bad mouth," her ex, as many in Hollywood seem prone to do these days about their exes!

As you know, Ms. Kidman has found success and happiness since the divorce from Cruise.  She is currently a nominee for an Academy Award.  Also, she is now happily married to Country singer Keith Urban.  And you would not believe all the incredible charitable work she does!

In short, Ms. Kidman has demonstrated a lot of class and grace.  We wish her and Mr. Urban continued success and happiness!